I have developed over the years a huge aversion to being seen as a selfish person. I think it comes from having people around you take and take and take for purely selfish gain. When you see the pain their actions cause it’s difficult to allow yourself to be even just the tiniest bit selfish.
Because of this I find I’ve often resigned myself to not having personal gain. Not acting in my own best interests because I somehow considered that selfish.
In someways I feel like I’ve been asleep for the past few years. I’ve been here, living, working, breathing- but I haven’t been doing it for me I’ve been doing it for other people. It’s not really living if you’re not reaching out for something. If you don’t have goals or things you’re looking forward to.
I’ve decided not to do that anymore. I’m becoming more vocal and personally active in my new relationship, asking for things I never would have thought I could receive in the past- and to my surprise I’m getting them!
I don’t want to feel guilty for wanting things. I’m feeling amazing and empowered and just overall better about myself as a person. Who knew that being selfless was a poor goal? I guess it’s true it’s all just about finding that happy and stable medium.
I’m looking forward to sharing this new more selfish me with you all- thanks for reading!
